“There’s really no scientific evidence that Mercury’s movements have any effect on our love life,” she says. “That said, our research shows that, for many, the phenomenon is real.”
One of the potential reasons is that we are simply overthinking things during this astrological phase. “Those who believe in it are likely to be experiencing heightened stress and anxiety as they worry their relationship is about to come crashing down,” she says. “If their partner doesn’t show understanding, it’s highly likely that the astrological event will lead to fights. So, even if astrology isn’t your thing, it’s best to be tolerant and mindful until Mercury (and your partner) are feeling themselves again.”
“Those who believe in it are likely to be experiencing heightened stress and anxiety as they worry their relationship is about to come crashing down.”
Astrologers believe that mercury retrograde can have a very real impact on our mood — some believe it can even lead to brain fog and stress.
“During these periods, we’re prone to saying the wrong words and taking things the wrong way,” says Pochotna. “A simple misunderstanding leads to a full-blown argument, and it starts to feel like our love life is spinning out of control. Even experts who don’t believe in astrology recognise the phenomenon — but they attribute it to heightened feelings of stress and anxiety simply because we’re waiting for something bad to happen.”
How to stop Mercury retrograde from wreaking havoc on your relationship
If you find yourself having more arguments and relationship anxiety during a retrograde, it's worth being extra careful with how you're communicating.
“Mercury movements are out of your control, but what you say and do isn’t," says Pochotna. “If you can keep calm and avoid confrontation for just a few weeks, it’s entirely possible to stop your relationship from spinning out of control.”
- Show understanding: Miscommunication is certain, so don’t take anything said in the heat of an argument at face value. Even if they hit a nerve, just let it slide.
- Don’t react, clarify: Before you jump down their throat, ask what they really meant. There’s every chance you misunderstood, so try not to overreact.
- Actively listen: When your partner speaks, give them your full attention. If you’re constantly interrupting or only half listening, you’re asking for trouble.
- Speak carefully: Don’t say what you’re thinking and hope it’s well received. It won’t be. Choose your words wisely and try to be empathetic… even if you’re not really feeling it.
- Check your body language: Non-verbal actions, such as facial expressions, speak a thousand words, so best save the eye rolls for when you’re out of sight.
- Calm down then talk: If things get heated, step back. Arguing won’t get you anywhere, so schedule time to talk it out once you’re both calm.
- Take a tech break: It’s so much easier to take things too far over text when we can’t see our partner's reaction. If a discussion can’t wait, at least do it face-to-face.
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What else can you do when Mercury is in retrograde?
Mercury retrograde affects everyone differently, and there are ways to make navigating this uncertain time a little easier. Here's what you can do to set yourself up for Mercury retrograde this year:
Above all, don't panic — embrace the shift
It's important to remember that potential impacts of Mercury retrograde are ultimately theoretical. So even if it does feel like things might be out of their usual rhythm, don't neglect to acknowledge that this could be due to you being more conscious of potential changes and so paying more mind to these.
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