A Lot or a Little?
What you will—and won't—find in this TV show.
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Positive Messages
a little
A mixed bag. On one hand, brings to light the complexities of teen relationships and pressure and the extreme consequences of feeling isolated. On the other, it does so through the rather vindictive behavior of a teen who's tormenting her peers with guilt after her death and the supposition that teen life is rife with oppression. Ultimately message is one of warning -- for teens to deal with their problems in constructive ways and for adults to stay in touch with their kids' activities and emotional health. The strong bond between Clay's friend group after Hannah's death only gets stronger, and there are many moments of bravery and compassion.
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Positive Role Models
very little
Clay's sensitivity and concern for Hannah is evident in how he's racked with guilt over the possibility of having contributed to her psychological struggles. Parents are involved in their teens' activities and monitor their whereabouts, but even so, teens often push boundaries and break family rules. Some of Hannah's peers behave in ways that are cruel and bullying, others learn compassion over time, and yet others are angry or abusive. Everyone is struggling.
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Violence & Scariness
a lot
Revolves around a main character's suicide, which is shown in detail as she slits her wrists in a bathtub and her parents discover the body. (Note: this scene was edited out by Netflix in 2019 on advice of suicide prevention experts and doctors). It also contains graphic rape scenes involving high school students; no nudity, but panties are shown being forcibly removed, etc. A teen thrown over a toilet is brutally raped from behind with a mop; we see his face in agony. A number of students are seen with guns in the second season; one is stockpiling for a potential school shooting.
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Sex, Romance & Nudity
a lot
Some moments of teen sexuality, including masturbation and some make-out scenes. One explicit scene of two teens having sex; lots of thrusting but no nudity. A teen shares a photo he took up a girl's skirt showing her underwear. A character keeps trying to have sex but has difficulties due to his emotional state. A character becomes pregnant and has an abortion. A character does sex work while homeless and contracts HIV, eventually dying of AIDS.
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Language
a lot
Very frequent cursing including "f--k," "s--t," "damn," "a--holes," and "sucks." Name-calling such as "idiot."
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Drinking, Drugs & Smoking
a lot
Teens drink at parties with no noticeable consequences. A character is a heroin addict; we see him with paraphernalia and obviously high. Later he detoxes with the help of his friends. Clay's friend group does Molly together. Another character does cocaine and steroids are a major plot device in the third season.
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Parents Need to Know
Parents need to know that 13 Reasons Why is an intense, dark drama based on Jay Asher's popular young adult novel. The first season explores the motivations that led Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford), a troubled teen, to die by suicide. Viewers hear about the bullying, sexual assault, and other traumatic events in her life. Messages about compassion, empathy, and not taking others for granted are clear, but the fact that Hannah blames others for her suicide may send the wrong idea to sensitive teens. Hannah's suicide is shown in great detail in the original series (but was edited out by Netflix in 2019 on advice of suicide prevention experts and doctors). There's also more than one graphic rape scene, including one that's extremely brutal and involves a mop. Teens drink and swear ("f--k," "s--t," and "a--holes") frequently. In the second season, the students of Liberty High continue to process Hannah's death while dealing with their own issues, including self-harm, more bullying, gun violence, and the pressure of testifying in a court case about Hannah. The third season is framed as a murder mystery with some main characters implicated and also has an abortion storyline, steroid use, and immigration issues. The fourth and final season sees a main character die of AIDS after being unhoused and a sex worker, while another character deals with serious mental health issues like PTSD. While this challenging story can help families start useful conversations about issues like bullying, sexual assault, and depression, the way these issues are addressed go against the advice of many mental health experts and may be confusing for some viewers, especially younger ones. To this end, Netflix has added trigger warnings to episodes that contain especially graphic or disturbing content, as well as brief videos with cast members stating that kids already at risk for depression and other mental health issues may not want to watch the show.
What's the Story?
13 REASONS WHY follows Clay Jensen (Dylan Minnette) as he wrestles with his feelings after the recent suicide of his classmate and crush, Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford). Haunted by their brief friendship and her shocking death, Clay is surprised when a package arrives containing audio tapes on which Hannah chronicled the 13 matters -- and 13 people who caused them -- that led her to end her life. As Clay listens to each side and follows clues Hannah left on the recordings, he retraces events that reveal secrets and her peers' roles in them, connecting the dots that inspired her death. The second season follows Clay and his friends as they continue to process Hannah's death five months later. The court case against Liberty High continues, and most of the characters are called to testify. There's a focus on justice for victims in this season, and issues like self-harm (in the form of cutting), gun violence, loneliness, heroin addiction, slu*t-shaming, and more are addressed.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about the issues raised in 13 Reasons Why. Have your teens witnessed or experienced cyberbullying or more traditional bullying? What different forms can this behavior take these days? What defenses can you use against it?
Teens: Do you find your peer pool to be mostly inclusive or exclusive? Can social media be a curse as well as a blessing? How does our constant connection to other people via cell phones cause stress? On the other hand, what are the benefits of this culture?
Families can talk about gun violence and safety. In Season 2, guns play a major role in the plot for a few different characters. Are they used responsibly? What do you think about the availability of guns in this show? Is it realistic?
Families can also talk about suicide and the way it's addressed in this series. When is it important to talk about mental health, especially if you're worried about a friend or family member? Netflix has a website to visit after viewing the series, 13ReasonsWhy.info. What other resources are available to help both kids and adults?
Sexual assault, specifically the rape of main characters, plays a large role in this series. Families can talk about resources available to teens; the Crisis Text Line is an excellent way for phone-shy teens to reach out in times of need.
